We recently had a lovely visit from our equally lovely daughter, Sia, and her four-year-old daughter, Malika. It wasn’t nearly long enough. And yet it’s taken all day today for us to get off the recliners to get ready to go out to eat in order to celebrate our 53rd wedding anniversary. I wonder how older folks who have custody of grandchildren manage to parent. It’s not a question of lack of experience or knowhow, but rather, how do they find the energy? I salute you if you are in that situation.
We loved having them here. Sia is a CNA working 12-hour shifts in order to raise her sweet girl. I just had to share a few “out of the mouths of babes” stories, and hope you will bear with me. After all, I am old and should be allowed to ramble from time to time!
As she decided to play “school” with four adults sitting around the living room, she pulled out several toy cars (ones my son played with when he was a child), and announced, “Now we will talk about colors,” going through them, and then concluding with,
I’m really proud of you. Good job!
Next came recalling numbers on playing cards, which brought an evaluation of,
That was very good.
On we went through the afternoon as we (adults) rested and caught our breaths. Later on, as my husband was walking down the hallway, he passed her, and she announced,
You may pass, Sweetie.
As I think back on their visit, I am awed to think that she picked up her mom’s affirmations as well as her teachings. She will go to school in another year, and already is learning so much and able to carry on conversations in a logical way. No doubt she will be a leader in her classroom and be ready to help others who are struggling.
I remember one time sharing with Sia how I used to play a game with my kids when they were young (Sia didn’t come to us until they were already adults.). We’d read a couple of books I certainly wish I could find entitled “What Do You Say, Dear?”, and “What Do You Do, Dear?” The book had hilarious scenarios, with great pictures, setting up a problem and then ask, “What do you do, dear?” Like, two people eating in a restaurant and a giant ape enters suddenly. People are running and screaming. What do you do, dear? Answer, “Always place your napkin beside your plate before leaving the table.” Or something like that. (Like I said, I’d love to find copies of these books!)
So we had a game we would play. I would make up a situation and ask, “What do you do, dear?” Then we would figure out the best answer. Like, you are playing in the house, and Mom has gone over to the neighbor to borrow a cup of sugar. The doorbell rings. What do you do, dear? Or you are visiting an elderly neighbor for the afternoon while Mom goes to an appointment. The neighbor suddenly can’t talk or move. What do you do, dear?
I’d also realized, being military and often not near any relatives, that they should have our names, information, and phone number (before cell phones) memorized. I’d just recently shared this with another single mom, and while Sia and Malika were here, a relative asked for Sia’s contact information so she could send her a picture. Sia said, “Malika, tell Auntie Sara Mom’s phone number.” Which she could do. And did.
It really makes you feel good to see your daughter bringing up her child right. And with this I will end: As Malika was playing on the floor, G’Daddy and Mommy were playing Skipbo while Granny worked on lunch. G’Daddy was moaning and complaining because she was beating him so badly, and Malika looked up from her play. In her best schoolteacher voice, she cautioned,
Mommy, be kind!
I had to smile. What would you do, dear?
Lura (Katy) Houk
Banner Photo by Nick on Unsplash
Book Photo from PeasporridgePress Etsy Shop